I just can't figure it out.

Okay, i deleted the previous post, i'm too ruthless. :'(
I still feel sad now, i think i need a few days to get over it.
I must get rid of that fucking lovey feelings for my bestfriend.
I must control myself, and its a must!
Its a fact that i indeed fell in love with you, and for god sake, i'm in love with my bestfriend.
I will stop myself from thinking that,
from falling any deeper, from getting hurt,
and also, from letting you being sorry because of me.
And one last thing, i will not let anyone to destroy our friendship,
i will appreciate this friendship of ours, okeh Bestfriend? :')

Today was a fucking super sad day for me, i woke up late, because i kept waking up in the middle of the night. From the point when i stepped out of the door, i didn't smiled, on the bus too, i didn't smiled. Reached bustop, met Shakir & Fana. Didn't smiled to them either, i thank 'em for their concern, i'm ok.. Then walked up, no conversations going on. Reached schl, went to toilet straight, wanted to cry, but Fana came in, so i aborted the idea. Went to canteen, bought mineral water, off to Parade Sq, then go Hall for Eng class. I didn't smiled, didn't talked much.

After class, went to Staffroom, then walked down with Fadhila and Fana. No conversation were going on, i'm way infront of 'em. Then they board their 67 while i waited for 75. Reached home, took Top for Fieza. Wanted to go to schl and meet her then pass her the Top. But she headed for Lot1. So i didn't met her and i went home. Bathed, here i am.

I wanna apologise to everyone, especially Fana.
I'm really feeling very upset today, and hence i didn't layan you as much as i always does.
I'm sorry, sorry for letting you being sad over me, yes history is repeating, only you understands how i felt. I'm truely sorry, :'(

To my bestestfriend, Hazmi.
This is the first time having me typing your real name here instead of Pork/Noob. Because i got to let myself know, you're my bestest friend, nothing else matters.
Things will change, i promise you, i will stay happy. And i know, our friendship won't turn sour because of this matter. I'm sorry for everything, sorry for letting you being sad because of me.
You will still be my bestest Pork, bestest friend, bestest Noob, nothing else..
I'm sorry and l-o-l for you.

To those who have my numbers,
I won't be replying messages from today onwards. So anything just give me a call, texts won't be appreciated and will be ignored. But if i replies you, count yourself lucky and loved then.

Till here, goodbye.

I will be strong, i will be happy. I hope i will.