Nothings going right!!!!!!!!!

I've been backspacing everything that i'm typing, i can't find the suitable word or rather suitable way to express it, because i know, i'm so speechless, and, i'm nothing. :'(

To You, as my favourite junior, is this the way you wants to treat me? You've been doing things that really hurt me, and i doubt you know that, i don't care whether do you read my blog, i don't care how will you feel after reading my blog, because you don't even care how do i feel! I really felt like typing out your name, i want to let people know, this is how you treats people, yes i'm being fucking selfish here, so what? You forced me to, i don't want to, and seriously, i cannot do it anymore, can you please hide yourself, please?! I don't want to see you, anymore!!!!!!! You made me cried, sad, everything, and you don't know that at alll!!!!
I really hate you alot, alot!! Please fuck yourself off! Please!! I'm hating school!!!!!

To You, i really love you, i never ever treated you as a bestfriend, im really hurt by what you said, you do, everything. And, you don't know anything about it, alright, put it easier, you don't give a hoot to anything regarding me. Anything regarding her, you will go head over heels over her, you will ask till the end, you loved her so much that you can even threaten me, and you know, how do i felt? I need you to understand, i need your understanding, i need you to know that i'm having a hard time adapting to it, you use to be very understanding towards me, you always know how do i felt most of the time and when i'm upset, you always cheered me up, and now, no more. Do you know about all these? No, you don't. Your mind is only her, everything her. Although i loved you, but you know what? Its useless, useless..

Whatever she says, you believe.
Whatever she does, you always enjoys it and hope she will do it more often.
Whatever it is, she's just in your heart, always the first.

Whatever i says, you doubt it.
Whatever i do, you don't give a damn.
Whatever it is, i'm nothing.

And you know what? Just because of 2 of you, i don't feel like going to school, and, i hate school now. I hate everything, my laughters are gone because of you and you. How was it? Cool or what?

I don't care whether did you read it, i just want to say out whatever i want to say, i want to let you know that this is how i felt! So now, you tell me, what to do?! Please refrain yourself from being visible infront of me, especially when you two are together.

I'm being very arrogant, bitch, i love to put words in people's mouth, so what? Fuck ah!
I don't care about how people feels already, because nobody does.

I thank for all those encouragements, consoles, words, i'm trying to cheer up, i'm trying to convince myself that i'm wrong, i'm being selfish, everythang. But i can't?! -_- Fuckit, i don't want to go to school tomorrow, seriously. :'(