im at the school's artroom now, i left my work at home, so i'm going home later to get it and then back to schl. Im currently feeling very down, i hadn't ate anything since the bread i ate while i'm on my way to school. I skipped meals, during recess to settle something.

Expected something goood, but i'm wrong, i broke down.

Gundu, why am i not moving on? Yes, my fault!

:(

Edited at 8.09pm.

Hi, i'm back, no pictures for today, its gonna be a wordy post for tonight, i won't mind if you wanna leave, cause i'm numb already. :)

Today school was okay, woke up at 6.30am, bathed, went out at 6.50am, 184 to Assumption bustop, walked up with Fadhila, then reached, bought Mineral water, then headed to Parade Sq for morning assembly, (aw, i missed it!)

Then temperature taking, god, my temperature was 37.6 degree celcius, Sera was laughing at me, damn her. :@ Then went back class, had Mother Tongue 1st period, and yes, Ying, Vivien and Cheryl is here, and Tina's not gonna be lonely already, yay. :) Then had English, didn't do work, slept after fooling around, went to class late, hek hek. Woke up, asked Mrs Kalai to help me tie Scorpion. :) Then headed to Miss Alice's room for Math.

Didn't did any work, chit-chatting with Kak Fieza, hand-drawing is fun, :) Then recess time..

Headed to Canteen, then Huzai called me, had a talk, left 'em with ignorance, shall not talk about it, so, skip it. ;)

Had Geog, can't study at all, but i manage to finish 2 questions, then left for Art room, someone walked past, i admit, i took a glance at him, i knew someone was looking at me too, all-the-while, but i looked away, the heartache was definately very hurtful, :'(

Went to canteen, then walk around the school, had a talk with Farris, then headed back to Art room, sat beside Hadi cat, seeing him and fieza, i felt happy for them, although i never ever tasted the feeling of being in a relationship. :/ But anyway, like what Hadi cat said, If You're Not Ready, Don't Be In A Relationship.

Went for S.T.A.R, slept half-way, haiz, it was raining very heavily, very cold too, then headed to Hall and watch STOMP! Then left school with Aryna. Walked to Pending, while i go home.

Reached home, bath, ate dinner (yay), online, msn.

I never move on, my fault.
Friends quarrel, my fault.
My whinings, your fustrations, my fault.
I'm sorry, i just can't move on, :(

If i am able to control my heart, if i am able to to stop myself from falling in love with you, if i am able to be optimistic, nothing will happen, i feel so sad, so bad, so upset, so useless, such a bitch, i'm such a jinx, so bodoh, so idiotic.

If i'm able to turn back time, if i'm able to predict the future, trust me, i'll be better off.

I will control my heart, stop myself from falling in love.
I will be able to be optimistic, able to stop everything from happening.
I will be better off, happy. But its so impossible.

Don't ask me to cheer up, i want to move on, but its hard you know?
You want me to move on, i need new option, i need time.
Don't expect me to be like girls outside, those who can move on so easily.

I can love faithfully, i can wait, i can forgive easily.
I can be the best to You, i can be absolutely patient.
I only trust the only You, and i respect Your decision.
I want the best for You, and i want You to be happy.

I need understanding, time, more love, home is a haunting place, school too.

Tell me, where can i go? Sometimes, i find living useless, i just felt like ending it.
I'm having a hard time, i will be grumpy for the most of the time.
Don't be surprise if i were to ignore/shout/diao you, cause i think, nobody deserves my kind-side except my true-friends. :)

Do forgive me for my wrong-doings, cause i don't mean it, i just felt being heartless.
Tomorrow is Tuesday, another hard day waiting for me to be suffered. :'(

Goodbye people, takecare.