5 more hours, 41 minute more to go!

Okay, can't wait for countdown later'on!!!! Heheh! So now im waiting for Cammie to come over. And i will head to Bangkit after that, lol. Alright, 2009.... :D

I've been through alot, i've went through different stages of life, most importantly, i got to be much stronger after different incidents, heartbreaks, tears, laughters, everything.

School life was great, friends are always there to make me laugh, and most importantly, make school days enjoyable. I've been through stress, especially the period when im struggling with my art piece. I am very regretful for what i did to Mdm Fatimah, and i hope she'll get to read this and Im so sorry Mdm Fat, i'll always remember you ^.^

Friends, i met new friends, i found my old-time bestfriend, Joyce. Friends come and go, but i appreciate those who stayed by my side and go through difficult moments with me. :) I love friends! ^^

Love life, i will never compare my both relationship, but i will always understand, who truely loves me and who doesn't. I don't understand lies and truths, all i know is because of one of my ex, i chose to live in a world of lies and now im like a girl who can't accept the truths. But its alright, afterall i deserve these maybe, i'm lettin go, but still i wanna thanks Hazmi & Ayun. Thanks for making the effort to make me smile when im down, i do love you guys. And not forgetting too, Nelson chua! :]

Bestfriends. Thanks for everything, especially Hazmi, Fana & Fadhila. 3 of you are the best, thanks alot! I hope 3 of you won't forget me cause i will never ever forget my Pork, My pendek, and my Mummy bohsia!! :D :D

Sisters. Sera, Cammie, Emma, Victoria, Esther, Wenhui, Ahling, Kristlyn, thanks girls. I am so glad that i met you girls, i love you all. sisters4lyfe. :D \m/

Brothers. Gummy, Jieming. Only both of you, haha! Thanks for making the effort to make me feel better, best brothers ever :)

Shakir, Farris, Suhaimi, Sri, Ira boinboin, Alastair, Fahmi, Huzaifah, Tina, Yingying, Cheryl, Vivien, Aslina, Sidek, Vera, Yimling and whoever sees this, especially my loyal readers. I'd like to apologize for everything that i've done that i've did. Hopefully 2010 will be a great year for us.

2009 was more of a bad year for me, but i believe that 2010 will be much better! I'll be stucked inside a air-conditioned room for the whole year, more like a loner to be exact. Hahaha, but still, i hope 2010 will be a grrrrreat year and i'll be 17 next year!!

AISEY MAN, 17 FOREVER \M/ HAHAHAHA!!!

So yeah till here, bye! :D

I don't know how to accept this.

So hi everyone. Im still angry over last night i must get rid of this fuming atmosphere of mine by tonight, or rather before Gummy & Cammie comes over! :D So yeah, after this post, i shall go and get a bath and head to Bpp for brother's school shoes & lunch ;)

Shall talk about last night then. After going offline after having msn chats with Arian, Aryna & Cammie. I went to bangkit and get dinner. Then when going home, pendek call me and she got to happy when i told her what she asked me to do. Haha, dumb shit, you're one lucky girl man seriously, haha!!

Then went to watch movie and went to bed at 3am. Was extremely angry till i cried, its the first time ever i cried cause im fucking angry. Lol, can imagine? :O Then i went to sleep after that unknowingly. :P

Woke up at 10+, brushed teeth and stone -.- HAHA, then now im using laptop :D :D And yes, dedications and whinings will be posted up next, loads of pictures too, haha.

So till here then, and readers, don't mind me for the last night's post, im sorry for all those swearing words, haha :/ I was angry, what to do? :O

fucked up face with a fucking attitude being a fucker.

AH YES FUCK YOU. IM FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK UP. I FEEL LIKE FUCKING SLAPPING YOUR BLOODY FUCKING FACE. PLEASE KINDLY FUCK YOURSELF AND FUCKING GET A NEW LIFE.

I THINK IM GOING TO BE MUCH FUCKING BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. FUCKING SHIT, PLAYER. PLEASE LEH EH, NABEH, KUA HO HO LAH HOR, WA EMILY TAN, DIONG GIM LABEL YOU AS HONGSTER LAH HOR, NABEH!

MAY 2010 WILL BE A GREAT YEAR FOR YOU SUCKER!!!!! GO TO HELL AND ROT! KARMA WILL HAPPEN TO YOU SOON!

CIAO SUCKER!!!!! _1_

Your bones, your beauty.

Okay second post for today. So yeah, shall not waste time already ^.^

Slept at 3am last night and woke up at 8.30am today, very sleepy so i went back to sleep, haha! So my mom woke me up again and i went to bath straight away, then went for interview by car. Then when i stepped into the office, i was dumbfounded, :/ Cause the room smell like rotton onions (Fana should know what i meant, haha inside joke!!!)

Then i sat down like a nerd, filled up some form, went into the room and talk to the boss (?) and then he asked alot of questions, then he told me i was employed and this is our conversation.

Boss : Okay, so Emily you can start work on the 4th next year. *smile*
Me : Ah? Next year?!
Boss : Yeah, which is next week.
Me : Next week?! *in mind think, wah cb, so fast 2012 ah?"
Boss : Now is still 2009.
Me : Oh yeah, smile*

I know im god damn stupid but hahahah whatever :P Then i left, went to look for Dad, Mom & Eugene. Then went to mom's shop, online, then headed off to Jurong East. Met Vivien, Ying & Cheryl. Then Ying alighted as she got to work while 3 of us headed to Simei.

Took 5 to Tamp ITE. On the bus, we saw this guy who is kinda not normal like us, he dropped his bag and he said "Opps, sorry" very loudly and me and Vivien straight away laugh, i know its mean and rude, but seriously, its god damn fucking funny, lol!!! Registered, took photo, bought uniform. Cheryl bought those, not me and Vivien as we are taking traineeship :O Then what i hated the most when its payment period, fuck man, we queued for 45 minutes!!! Stupid or what, bodoh banana. _1_ Haha, then pay already, went back by 67 while Vivien took 168 to Bedok.

Went to Timah, then bought dinner home and went seperate ways, took picture but lazy to upload :/ So yeah, haha. Right now im on msn with Fana & Yihui. And i got a post for Fana :D :D



Eh pendek, you know something? You these few days seems so worried about your ITE or rather 4th January. Everything's gonna be fine, trust me. You're such a cute lil short girl (LOL) and i promise you, its gonna be so easy for you to make new friends ;) Don't be afraid la bitch, you ah make me sad also sia!! My workplace is even worse, Onion + adults = mampus!! So yeaaaah, what's handphone for huh?! Don't be sad okay bff?! I promise you i won't lose contact with you, no matter WHAT! HAHAHAHA ^.^ LOVE YOU O.O



So this is Yihui, and we somehow look alike siaaaaaah :O HAHAHA!! So shocking!! Okay la, im lame zzz. So yeah, just now Emma pendek send me something and she said it was meant for our ex-boyfriends, lol! And so here it goes ;

I thought we would be together for so long
You were so sweet and charming with your words you said.
But something happened I don't know what went wrong
I cried so hard just lying in my bed.

k bye..

Last night, i saw you and i cried.

Okay, im at purmei now. using my mom's computer and im leaving soon. :) well, i went for a interview today and oh my god, the office's staff is like so old and im like the youngest!!!? Also no handsome guys, sian ji pua can -_- HAHAHAHA kidding :P

Shall continue when im at home then, hehe bai.

last night when i saw you, my heart skipped a beat. k kidding. ahahah bye.

2nd postz

So second post, short post. Tpmorrow, i've got to wear a skirt for interview, damn it -__- Hmm, apparently, my day are boring as ever, parents are back today by 1 hour earlier and means i've got to shut my laptop at 10 and my mom wants to use the laptop :/

Means i have to remove some junks off my laptop in case she sees it, im dead x_x Haha no joke, i will be dead x_x LOL!!

I can't wait for tomorrow's interview frankly speaking, hopefully i'll get it. :) Nothing much to post lately, i've been updating my tumblr and i fucking hate the tumblarity, hahahah, okay whatever.

So yeaaaaaaaah, im done with my second post!! Hehe bye.

So crazy, cause i need you with me.

Okay, im done with Ira & Nelson's blogskin. Well, now im in love with Nelson's blogsong, and i'm going to download later'on, haha :P

So last night, i ate my breakfast + lunch + dinner @ 2am, and its just a bowl of maggie. Haha awesome ah!? Okay, because of this, Nelson scolded me for like 15 minutes non-stop. -,- And if i don't have my meals, he will ____ __ alive. :S HAHAHAA, NOBDOY WILL KNOW THIS. LOL.

Last night, while eating, me and my bro saw 1 fucking giant coackroach. Okay la, not giant, but big la, compared to a normal coackroach. And omg, when i see that, i was fucking scared and jump up on the sofa, so does my brother. Haha and i called Gummy & Nelson and what they said was "Kill it la!" But i don't have the courage to do so, lol.

Then in the end its dead, hahahahahah!! Then quickly eat already went to room. Then slept at 3am, 1 hour earlier. :P Lmao, then slept till 9+ and mom called.

Woke dad up and went back to sleep. Then woke up at 12+ and wash up, bath, msn :) Help Ira & Nelson with their blogskins, and then msn with Fana. She got me so sad uh, but what to do, this is part of life.. :) So yeah, Fana don't brood over it too much okie! ^^ Love you 2themax. :-)

Thanks to those friends who worried for my ITE courses, thanks for gettin stress up for me too when i didn't got any course. Hah, i know you guys won't get to read this, but still thanks. I've already sign up for traineeship course, i got no choice either, so i'll just take and see how it goes. And im going for an interview tomorrow at 10am, and shucks, it early right x.x

But fuck care uh, just go only zzz. Means i have to sleep by 2am today, if not tomorrow confirm late!! HAHA, its at Bukit Merah for god damn sake. -__-

Okay, i'll blog again later then, bye!

You, are the only one. Me, are like anyone to you.

Okay im back. Shall not waste time and start blogging about today ;)

So i went out at 12+ today and headed to Emma's crib, borrowed her earpiece and walk to Pending and waited for 700. While waiting, was on the phone with Sera. Then board the bus already, met Shuyan, Joanna, Christina, GuoBin & Weiseng. Alighted at i-don't-know which bustop.

Then walk to Cine, bought tickets, met Jieming and his friends there, haha. Then waved hi to him and off to Kofu. Bought this fucking expensive ribena which cost $2.20 while Joanna's cost for $1.50!! I was so shocked when our cup is at the same size but not the price -.- zzz

Then went to arcade, walk around, and went to level 6. Waited for Zhiling and went in. Watched Alvin & The Chipmunks 2 and i rate it 10/10. Its super funny and cute! Well i can hear Joanna's laughter very clearly, haha!

I want to watch Avatar next, with Fahmi as today he asked me out but i am going with Shuyan and co so i rejected him :/ And he is so sad, hahaha i owe you k Fahmi :) Be happy that this whole paragraph is for you k samdol!! ^^

Then after that, went to ION. Then Zhiliang left!! :@ Haha, then we took pictures and we left for Tang Plaza, and then to Paragon. :( Then to bustop and home!! :D

While on the way home, i was staring at my phone's screensaver and was in thought. I almost almost cried but nasib Gerald message me, if not omg, awkward siah x.x" Hahaha, then alighted first and went home, went to Bangkit immdiately. Then to Emma's crib.

Walk home, bath, online. Msn with Yanna Slayer, Ira Meimei, Cammie Sist, Guobin, Thasvin. Last night, i slept at 4 again. Nelson wanted to call me but too bad, haha his house phone kisiao, rofl :/ So yeah, today i got no mood again.. :(

I miss you, terribly. You know?

Fucking rubbish!

Fuck the system, fuck the system, you suck! Go and fuck yourself, fucking shit. Fucking shit, fucking spoilt my mood, fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! _1_

Okay this is what happen, the courses that i've applied, was unsuccessful, yes all the 5 courses. I was so shocked when i saw that and i thought im dreaming. Fuck my life, seriously.

And now im going to force myself to take the fucking math test, so fucked up. Seriously, i fucking hate math, and i swear, imma flunk it! I hate it when people ask me to do stuffs that i dislikes. Urgh.

Gonna head town later on, and after lunch time which is around 2pm, i am gonna call up ITE and fuck them up! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I HATE PROBLEMSZ.

Firstly is my personal problems, now ITE, what's up next? :O Fuck yourself first before coming to me, please fuck up stuffsz. _!_

FUCK ALL THIS SHITS! IM NOT GOING TO REPLY/ANSWER ALL THE CALLS/TEXTS.

Amazing yet saddening

So i came across this story on tumblr, and i cried after that. I've changed my blogsong after this post, i know im silly, lol. but seriously, this story hurts me, and i hope its not real... :)

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up…
Girl: What? What’s wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don’t want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me… I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I’m here. What is so important??
Boy: I’m not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I’m leaving…
Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don’t want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I’m moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can’t believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!… Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can’t… You don’t know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It’s okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can’t believe what’s going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I’ll meet you there in 20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives
her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you… But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]
It says…
“Erica,

You probably already know that I’m leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I’m leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the
right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that’s a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch… Goodbye.
- Ricardo”

[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
… A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely… Then she gets a phone call….

Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something…
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,
It says:
“Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words…
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
…. I hope you didn’t take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me… -Ricardo”]

Girl: Oh my God! It’s a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can’t believe how stupid I am!!

Friend: lol Okay but I g2g… Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I’ll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!
… Erica turns the T.V. on……

[Breaking news] “An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors… This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80… it was on its way to an all boys boarding school…” the Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. … 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for… ]

… A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. “Its Ricardo, I guess you’re not home so, I called to let you know that I’m alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good...

Things ain't getting any better

Okay, im done with my dinner but not bath. So i'll go for a bath after this ;) Hmm today is 27th and its a very important day for my bro and his girlfriend, da 1 year dok! Haha, congratulations bro! :) I hope you and Aiyin will last long okay, and hope mom won't mistake Aiyin as Ayun & Ayun as Aiyin anymore, haha! Okay whatever -__-

So im heading to town tomorrow, and seriously speaking, im feeling happy yet sad. Happy is that i am meeting my primary school mates and hang out after for not meeting each other for like 4 years and we're meeting like tomorrow!! HAHA. Sad is that we're heading town, yes town... Okay whateverrrrrrr. :P

So today, i woke up at 1.04pm. And last night i slept at 4am. Can't sleep last night as something is bothering me, how i wish i was smart. Okay what am i talking sia, wtf.

So i was on msn with Thasvin & Emma just now, we were talking about class outing for 4D. And yes, 3 of us are planning it, so any enquiries, do visit the class blog @ http://fo-urd.blogspot.com or check my/your facebook events. ^^ Hehe and teachers are coming too, can't wwwwait!!

So yeah, now currently waiting for Thasvin to get back to me asap as i need him now. Thasvin!!! FASTER SMS/CALL ME!!! YOU DUMB SHIT! HAHAHAHHAHAHA JOKES! :P

Okay so im done with my post, so yeah and yes, he finally contacted me, lol! Oh and yes, my prepaid is gonna be low soon, and i don't think imma get it topp-ed up. So yeah, hahaha i'll see how then! :)

Okay, im done. No mood now, bye.

Urgh i hate this fucking feeling

okay apparently i can't get to sleep. and there's this stranger who added me on msn and his/her name is "Ice". i think i shall name myself "Fire" to make it nicer, okay sacarstic and lame. okay what the fuck, she is my aunt, lol. fuck my life, im so ill-mannered. lol.

im feeling so mixed, so upset. tonight is not going to be a good night. im being so fucking emotional now, lol dumbshit.

k goodnight, im on your facebook naow. haizcxz.

Emily Tan Hui Yi, you better fucking move on from now onwards!!! FUCK.

Please get out of my mind.

Okay hello readers ;) Shall not waste time and start blogging already, im so tired x.x" So today i woke up by brother's yelling and i was angry with him cause he suddenly came into my room and shouted "CHEH CHEH, WAKE UP!!!" And i was like "WTF LA!" HAHAHAHAHA.

Then woke up, wash up, bath. Then dad drove us to Greenridge primary, then me and Brother alighted. Bought his books and fuck, its so fucking heavy, almost killed my right hand, lol. Then headed to Greenridge and had lunch settled there, ate KFC and one of the motorist look like aliff aziz and i thought it was him and i stared at him all the way. HAHAH, then he stare back and he smile to me, i was like "chey, not aliff la" Lmao, haha!

Then ate already, walk to Jelapang and train back home. Reach home, then went to Yewtee's Mac and meet Fadhila, Kamilah, Michelle & Suhaimi. Then around 4.30pm me and Fadhila left, cabbed to meet her mom, then took photos :]

Then 307 to Yewtee, hugged her mom and Fadhila of course! Then we went seperate way, i feel like crying when im hugging Fadhila and ohmygod, i feel so kid. I want Fadhila to come back, if not imma kill her! LOL.

Then train back home, change to Lrt and alighted at Petir, bought dinner for grandma. Then walk back home. While walking back, i feel so.... sad ;( Cause i use to walk and buy dinner with him and now im alone. So that's the reason why im always rejecting my brother if he were to ask me to get dinner instead of him, so much memories seriously.. :(

Last night i was chatting with bff. And last night i was pondering over what we are talking, i did cried, i felt much much better after crying. As for tonight, i hope its gonna be a good night for me. I miss you alot, and i doubt you did, right dude?

Like what Samdol always say, if don't have boyfriend, takpe. Scandal for what. (LOL!!)
Like what bff say, must be strong, life is hard but bff will be there for me.
Like what Gummy & Cammie say, must be "jual mahal" :D
Like what Nelson say, single is the best.

I hope i can do it although is fucking hard for me. But once again, i do miss you alot. And i got no idea how to live with it..?

familiar feeling of mine.

Okay, im feeling kinda sad now, i think im going to cry tonight again. Im really feeling very down, i feel so fucking alone.

Why am i so unlucky? Let me elaborate for you whats the meaning of unlucky.
Why am i born into a girl when im suppose to be a boy and this led to my grandma having hatred in me?
Why am i always the one who's gettin hurt, taking all the blames, the one who always gives in.
Why is it that im not being appreciated by people whom i love most?
Why... why is there so many "why" within my mind?
Why can't i be happy?

If you guys was my loyal reader since year 2007/2008, you people will know what did i went through. I've been much stronger, i must admit. I never had the chance to really be happy for more than 5 months straight. I often had problems within myself, and i hate it to share because im afraid of people mocking. Low self esteem, is what i have.

I know i should never let this break up to affect me, i know i should be much stronger and learn from this failed relationship and expect better conclusion when im ready for another relationship. It is hard on me but not you.

You know the best, you should know very well whether is it hard for you. You, the second guy whom i love the most, its my fault for not being good enough, but its your fault for leaving too soon. You, do you know that you hurt me so badly? You, do you know that i am trying my best to smile every now and then? You, do you know how do i feel deep inside my heart? You, will you ever take the initiative to read my blog and know how am i everyday?

does anyone know?

Mr favourite of mine left.

Hello, first of all, i wanna wish all my readers Merry Christmas!! Hehe, lol. So last night, i went to Aunt hillary's crib and celebrated Christmas as well as Grandma's birthday!! :) It was so amazing as there's so many many food!! HAHAHA. 8)

So this is how it goes. Firstly i left home with Edmus around 3+ while Eugene headed to City Harvest Church with Aiyin. Then we cabbed to Mom's shop and waited for Dad to arrive then Dad drove us to Bedok where Auntie Hillary's crib is at. Throughout the trip, dad asked about me and you-know-who-they-are. And i told him, we broke off.

And he was like "Why? How come? I thought you and Hazmi long?"
I was like "Ah? Got meh? Aiya, over liao, nevermind."
Then he asked about Ayun, and he said "Then the cute cute de leh? Also broke up already?"
I was like, "No la, married. Of course break la! *laugh*"
My dad was like "Haiyo.. Then you got cry anot? Among this 2 breakup, which one you cried the most?" And i said "Er, Hazmi."

Lmao, my dad is so cute -_- HAHAHA. Then we reach Aunt's crib already, greeted uncle and aunties, then off to play Wii. Was kinda boring cause i was the only teenager and i seem to be too old among my cousins and too young among the women's talk. LOL. So i just stone there, so poor thing -_- Told ya, Fana! 80% boring!!! HAHAHA.

Then went to Kembangan with Aunt Hillary to fetch Eugene. Then head back to her crib. Then stayed till 10+ and headed home. [: Oh yeah, presents were given too!! ^.^ HAHA, headed back home, bath, watch tv till 1+

Slept straight away, seriously very very tired :X Then messages was coming in and i end up didn't replying them and fell asleep, hahaha!

Then had a terrible dream, seriously i hated that dream, its so fucking sad. And fuck, in the dream, both of us was fighting like crazy bitch and bastard, in the middle of the road, and then we straight away broke ties & we went seperate ways. Fucking shit, i hate this dream! But! Dreams are opposite, don't they? Haha, i hope so then ;)

So tonight Fadhila's coming over again! ^.^ Ohmygay, i miss her man! And she's going back to Malaysia tomorrow, but nevermind, we still got the whole night :]

Im so bored naow, so today's 25th! Hmm, i can't wait for the gathering which is planned by Shuyan, haha yay primary school mates gathering! ^.^V I can't wait to seeeeeee all of youuuuuu!! HEHE, YAY. & we're gonna watch Alvin And The Chipmunks!!! :D

Finally we're watching that, i've been hoping that i can watch that ever since 18th december, lol.
I came across this quote on Tumblr and it goes like this..

You can love two person at the same time but never in the same degree.

I guess, this applies to me. To be frank, i love 2 person right now. I know im such a dumb girl. But of course, i should start to move on as this 2 person whom i am in love with, one of them is in love with other girl, while the other one doesn't want to be more than our status now. So what to do?! MOVE ON SUAAAAAAAAA. ya right, its easier to talk than proving it. Fuck this, i hate denialzxsz _1_

bitter yet sweet, short yet long.

Okay im here to post for today and i think this will be my only post for today? Firstly, i fucking hate my internet now, fucking firefox's screen is too small and i can't change my theme for my tumblr. Urgh fuck this _1_

Okay basically last night i met Ayun and passed him the sony ericsoon charger and usb. And guess what?! My mom lost the other charger and i got no charger now. Damn stupid lah me, now my battery left 8% only, omg. So i won't be replying messages/answering calls for this afternoon.

Suppose to go to Dover this morning with Ayun for his application for ITE. But i can't make it due to something, kinda fucked up uh, nevermind forget about it. :(

Currently on facebook, can't wait for 28th dec. Been recieve-ing the text that says that i made them smiles in the year 2009. Im sorry that i'm able to reply/forward as my battery's gonna die on me very very soon. So i'll forward it tonight okay! [:

Im fucking hungry now, on msn with Shehnaz right now, and we're discussing about drama's outing. Kinda eager to plan and make it an enjoyable one.

k la, bye.

do you know that i lend my charger to you on purpose cause i want to see you badly?
afterall, i hope its worth it, don't break my heart.

cry me a river and sail yourself to death.

I think the way i blogs changed :O Apparently, this is my 3rd post for today, im feeling so pathetic and attention-seeking too. Stupid me -__-

today i was thinking while trying to form a quote by myself. and this is how it goes, sounds stupid but to me its nice, ha ha.

this is me, the only me. if you can’t handle my attitude, my flaws, my ugly side, then its an yes that you don’t deserve me.

how is it? i find it super nice, hehe. but only 1 person reblog me -_- haha who cares, as long as i like it! im still down, argh fuck this feeling x.x"

lastly, i got no idea why am i blogging, i just hate blogging and yet i feel like blogging. haha scorpions, what can you say.. they are mysterious O-O!

im leaving on the 31st, and i hope, you will catch me before i leaves. :'(

uncontrollable mucus.

Uhuh, mucus are coming out of my nose like nobody's fucking business. I fucking hate flu and yes, im going have flu again like fuck! _1_ Urgh, i hate flu! Fuck!

Right now, im on msn with Fana. And people let me tell you all something, my right side of my nose is fucking irritating, its so itchy and i feel like digging it, hahahahhaah omg im gross x.x

Time now is 7.56pm. Im wondering whether has the plane landed? *shrugs* Forget it, im feeling very bad now, my nose is gonna fucking kill me tonight.

you know i miss you darling, you know i do. and i often ask myself, this is only one sided, and there's no point of me waiting any longer. you can love, you don't want. you can't love, you want. how complicated can this be? love is the most scariest thing in earth yet people loves to give it a try no matter how scary is it, fuck this fact.

gonna be out tomorrow for the whole day, like finally!! gonna head to mom's shop and then to aunt's house at bedok! hopefully my flu will be gone by tomorrow morning, if not i'll be so fucking grumpy for the whole day x.x"

im so sad naow, as in since when i woke up, i don't know why and i won't say why and neither will i go and brood over it.

So people, go and fuck yourself, bye!

Lonely nights

Just passed by my old-time clique's blog. Seeing the latest post, latest tag by Vivien makes me sad. Its the truth that we don't hang out already, im always not with you guys, reason is i feel weird, we don't seem to be talking about the same topic or whatsoever, that's why, i left. i know you guys will read this, *smile*

I've always want to let you guys know that i don't mean it. We use to be close, like what i said, use to. Now we're heading different ways, Tina is going to Sec 5 (AND IM PROUD OF HER ^^) Vivien, Ying, Cheryl & myself are heading to ITE.

Cheryl called me last night, we talked about those courses, and after hanging up, i felt that the period when i was on the phone with Cheryl was so short, yet long. Bitter yet sad. We have nothing to talk about other than ITE courses. Pathetic huh? :( Im so sad, but its okay. I know 5 of us will be back once again!! :D

It takes time, looking back, we've grew up. I first know you all was when im 13 year old. Now im 16, and seriously, we are gettin old, x.x" HAHAHAH, kidding! :P Well, no worries okay darlings, i love you all still, afterall, we had the good and bad memories, we fight alot but we always get back together afterall :] I love Tina, Vivien, Cheryl & Yingying ;)

So today! I woke up at 12.34pm. Shiok 2themax! Hmm last night i had 3 different dreams. And people on Tumblr says that if they were to appear in your dream, it means that they want to see you. So and yes, i dream about him, a different him, that him. HAHA K WHATEVER.

So today is 23rd and Ayun is coming back, hopefully not after 4pm, cause he've yet applied for his ITE and the deadline is at 5pm. God damn it, now the time is 2.48pm and wtf, i hope he can make it. I know im abit stupid to get so stress up when we already broke off. But.. urgh forget it okay, i hate talking about these, it makes me sad :(

Okay shut the fuck up Em. Haha, i was on MSN with Shehnaz baby just now, and yes we are planning a Christmas party for Drama Society. Can't wait maaaaaan! Haha, hope it goes well then, mehehehe!

Hmm, tomorrow family gathering, can't wait <: Food foooooooooood!!! AHAHAHA.

I've changed my blogsong, and one of the song name "My Love - Justin Timberlake" make me think of Fahmi, i got no idea why too, hahaha! I swear im god damn stupid last night, but Fahmi managed to make me feel good by saying something sweet, haha! And i was texting with Eddy's bro, Daniel last night, and i swear, he is another chinese guy who i can get along with, cause normally when im texting with Chinese guys, i'd get bored and stop those textings, bahaha.

I am not racist okay, fuck all those who says im being a racist who only goes for malay guys (one of my msn friend said that im a racist cause i only go for malay guys, boo)

Ah so bored, bye for now. Catch me on tumblr ;)

Drama queens with slashes over their faces

Okay im here to blog again for the 2nd time in less then 3 hours, hahahah! And pardon me for my title for this post, very random i know, but its cool right? :)

I love my blogskin and blogsong now, i don't know why do i feel so random, simple yet hyper. Seriously bored, my body ache terribly, geeeez :(

Im currently msning with God I Love Ari :) Hahaha, nobody can figure this out i think? I took 2 days to figure it out, rofl.

Omg, my bffl knows me super well, he is god damn cb, keep calling me tetek head, stupid dick. So bored nowwwwwwwwwww.

So fucking bored, urgh. K la, im not going to blog again for today, wait for tomorrow then. Eh tomorrow 23rd eh?! Omgawd, time flies~

Yay, going to Aunt's house on the 24th for Christmas party & Grandma's birthday!! :] Can't wait to see my pretty & handsome cousins! :D

IM DONE FOR TODAY'S POST, BUAIZ.

14th day.

Hi everyone, time now is 4.02pm. Shall not waste time already. :)

Today i woke up at 1pm+ and i went to wash up and came online. Today suck to the max, i hate today, i don't know why, i seem to hate everyday, yes every single day, haha!

I feel like changing my blogskin, and i think i shall change it naow. Haha bye.

What's in my heart ain't in your mind.

Okay im here to post! :) Shall talk about today completely, each and every part okay! :)

Woke up at 7am+ by Fadhila. Then wash up, got ready for the morning jog. Wah sibeh shag man. Let me tell you where we ran. We started running from the Soccer Court behind Pending till the 2.4km route (the bungalows there) and we ran pass Chestnut drive, then ran down to Assumption then rain pass Assumption Pathway then ran in to Cashew Road and then run back to my block. Its like a big one round and i swear, i walked more than i ran. HAHAHA!!

I suck in this seriously, i hate waking up and then start to run -_- Then went home, change shoes to slipper and headed to Coffee Shop, mcm auntie sia! HAHA. Then went back home, online. Then both of us fought on the msn while she used my laptop and im using the desktop, she so bitch!! HAHAHA.

Then i helped her to fold her clothes, packed her luggage, teach her how to fold clothings!! Wah, she noob sia! HAHAHA! Then i went to bath, trained to Teck Whye. Met Gummy and then took 307 to Cck. Headed to level 2, and met Fadhila's mom. <:

Her mom so friendly! HAHA, then we headed to Food Culture and ate ;) Then told her siblings her nicknames in order to protect themselves! HAHAHA. Then me and Gummy left and headed to Bangkit.

Then bought some things and headed to my block to slack. Then went home after that ;) Reach home, changed, online. Here i am ;)

Right now msning with Fana & Emma. Texting with Idris ;) Im so bored naow, last night i can't sleep. I am so worried over something and gosh, im being asked that why do i care so much. Geeeeez, why i like thaaaaaaat D:

I can't wait for 23rd, 24th and 29th! :D Hehe, and Fadhila's leaving on the 26th :( I had fun with her these few days over at my crib, seriously, she made me laugh like mad last night. Haha! And i missed her already! :(

Okay la, bye!

i feel so upset.
i am so worried.
i am feeling very weird.
i have the urge to change my blogskin but i love this skin as Victoria Sist did it for me. (luv!)

i feel like going out to lepak.
fadhila's leaving later, gonna miss her.

yesterday she make me laugh like hell when im praying, damn her.
haha! and yes, today i went jogging with her and im half dead.

i think my stamina suck to the core, and im gettin lazier and fatter!!!!!!!! :(
today we ran past CDSS! ^^ hehe.

im addicted to coke and its a bad thing, as Gerald use to say that Coke suck. HAHAHA.

Im being so random nao. buai~

Editted @ 1.21pm.

I've applied for ITE already.

And this is the 5 courses, lollllll. All clementi sia! HAHA.

Office is my 1st choice.
Culinary is my 2nd.
Food & Breverage is my 3rd.
Retail is my 4th.
While tourism is my 4th choice! :)

I hope i gets either one, like duh! HAHAHA. K la, bye!

I miss you again.

So, shall talk about last night. :)

Slept at 3+ and Huzai called Fadhila. And what i thought was "Confirm mabok." HAHA. Then he talked to me and he told me something which made me so upset with myself. :( But its okay! Then he talked to Huzai while i went to sleep.

Today, woke up at 12pm, called Fana. Then bath, ate chicken rice then head out to Pending to meet Fana :) Then headed to Greenridge and had Fadhila's hair cut and im so jealous, her hair is so "scene" like and its so hawt! Haha! ;P Supposed to meet Fahmi samdol, but then he sleeping, what a pig!! ZZZZZZ!! HAHAHA. (Hope he won't see this)

Then we went to Banquet and had Fana's lunch settled there, then we went to Cck, headed to the rooftop, then watch kids playing bubbles -_- Then called up bestfriend and i answered, i was so happy to hear bestfriend's voice!!! :D :D HEHE!

Then went to bus interchange and waited for Suhaimi. Then bought ice-cream after going to Courts. Then walk to Farris's block. Wah, his face.... MOUSE! Hahahahah! Then slacked there, and Farris is so nice to ask whether am i ok.. and he kept asking and asking till i said "IM OK!" HAHAHA.

Then we left around 5.45 and trained to Pending while Fana alighted at Phoenix. Went to Bangkit, bought dinner. Then walked back.

Reach home, online. Today im very sad, i cried infront of Fana, Fadhila & Suhaimi. Omg, so paisey. -_- Sorry ah guys, i cannot tahan sia, i finally cried. LMAO.

How long is this gonna last? Will you forget about me? Will you remember what you said?

11th day.

So last night, i had a talk with my mom. I wanted to took Pastry course and my parents was kinda not satisfied with my choices so they asked me to choose somemore and they'll see how. I got no idea what to take.

Was on Msn with Hazmi last night and he was disappointed in my results and he went "wah... you!!!" HAHAHA, as usual. :) Was also on Msn with Khamirul Bffl a.k.a God I Love Ari. HAHA. Then chatted with him and he is still sacarstic and funny too, and he never fail to ask me to stay single.

Went to Bangkit with Fadhila last night and she kept scolding me "stupid" for no reason, haha! Then bought food and also big glup! And i so kental when she wanted to mix Coke, Ice Lemon Tee & 1OOPlus. Cause i was afraid of lao-sai, haha! LOL. Then she still insisted, so she went to mix it and she let me tried, and wtf, its nice. LMAO! Then we laugh so loud in the 7Eleven, lol!

Then we walk back and had our dinner at 12am -.- Then after eating, we stayed at the living room... Doing.... Not what you thinking la, we were talking. :) Then while talking, i was texting with Nelson and he said he will cook maggie for me again, and this time he say it will be tasty, lol! Haha, the last time i met him was on the 30th December 2008. So now, 30th december, meet? Haha!

Then Fadhila fell asleep and i continued to text with Nelson. Till about 2+ we both went to sleep. Then today i woke up at around 10+. Then bought my dog out of my room as Fadhila is somehow scared of its saliva -_- Then brought him out already, then packed our rooms. Then wash clothes and now we are stuck at home, cause its raining and we can't go to Bangkit for Popiah and Rojak! T.T And we haven't bath too, hahahah!

I've forced myself to admit the fast that was stated 10 days ago, shall not talk about it, its so *$$#*#@&&$!!!! So yup, skip this!

I went to Bangkit with Fadhila just now and we ate our breakfast/Lunch/dinner there, lol! Had fun too! We laughed and someone told me he loved me and i was fucking shocked. And i shouted and Fadhila got shocked, haha!

Im feeling very confused now, i feel like taking the chopper at chop all those guys out there who don't know how to treat girls! I got no idea whether am i sad or happy, i said i wanna move on, but i got no idea what am i going to do in the future, or after tonight..

Im officially lost, i got no idea how do i feel afterall. I sound so emo, and my blogsongs also so emo, wahpiang -_- So not me!

I WANT THE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

Cry me out.

Okay im here to post. Today's post will be a long but short post, rofl -.- Haha, i got no idea what am i saying either, haha! :/

Today i woke up at 9am, i used the laptop till 10.30am. Then i headed out to Bangkit to help my dad to deposit his money and went back home. Then off to Phoenix and finally Ayun called me. He overslept and after going to Phoenix i headed to 137 and met him up.

Then Ilham, Yanto came. Then Shafiq. Then i went back home to meet Fadhila and helped her with her stuffs and then meet Ayun and co again. Teman Ayun to have his hair cut with Shafiq. And while waiting, my gastric almost fucking killed me, i nearly fell asleep and i didn't dare to, i scared i faint, rofl. I know i sound stupid, so i end up walking around, to forget the pain, lol! I must learn to force myself to eat at least 1 meal a day seriously. Again today, i only ate a bowl of maggie and now i can't eat anymore.. Haiz. Im so.. changed. LOL.

So we walked to school, met Gummy and all at playground there and walk in. While walking halfway, i heard a "zut" and then i turn. Its my fana and sera! xD So i walked with them instead of Ayun and co. :P Walked with them, and then borrowed hairspray from Gummy for Fana. Then sprayed already, walk in together.

Headed to General Office, had my school fees paid. Then headed to Hall. Met my classmates and fuh, Miko hot sia!! HAHA. Then more came in. Mr Han talked, and as usual, he is as naggy as everrrrrrrr. Then Mr Nasim! :) He really made us felt better and i'm so happy to see that Art has 100% of passers, rofl.

Then around 2.50pm, results are out. I was the 4th one to take and when im walking towards, i can see Jiawei staring at me as if im going to die. LOL. Then i sat down, then took my results already, my hands was shivering and i can't even sign properly -_- Then they shooked my hands and when i went back, Emma all was staring at me, i was like "i go ITE sia!" LOL.

I cried for no reason too, hahaha! Lol, but then after crying, i sat down and stone there. Seriously can't smile or what, called my mom. Then hung up, knowing that Fadhila, Shakir, Angelo passed and was promoted to Sec 5 makes me happy for them ;) Tina was promoted too, happy for her! After taking result, i left the hall with Gummy as i really no mood to stay inside the hall.

So went to Foyer, and then told Gummy everything. I felt fucking better, lol. Then Gummy left and i went to look for Ayun. Then left school with him and his friends. Then we went to 139 while his friends left. Then Ayun head home and i stayed there. Like one crazy girl, then i went to Petir.

Went to 170 and reach there, got this one fat girl stare at me as tho i ate her mom, i got fucking fed up and i stared back. Then met Gummy and his sister and Cammie and one more girl. Headed to buy drink and then went to Gummy's sister's boyfriend's house. Then stayed there, stress sia!

Stayed till 6pm and i went home. Reach home, bath, online. Quite a number of people asked how was my result. I am so upset with myself man, omg. x.x"

Ayun's leaving tomorrow instead of today. I feel like typing out everything, but then forget it, i'll leave it to my private blog. :) Ayun, takecare at Hongkong okay!

Seeing everyone's faces today made me smiled, i missed so many people and it was a great feeling of seeing everyone. After taking result, i see some with smiles on their face, some with no emotions, some got so excited and kept laughing. Congrats to Izzuan and Kamilah for being the top students of 2009 ;)

Looking at the brighter side, im out of CDSS and im free! ITE life would be much "free" compared to Sec life i suppose? I can't wait and at the same time afraid too. But this is part and parcel of life i reckon. Haiz.

Im feeling so sad for no reason, i got so no mood for no reason seriously. My heart broke since 9 days ago and now, its broken into 4 pieces and not 2 pieces anymore. I need a hug, badly.

Tonight im going to cry, and scare Fadhila. I want to see you tomorrow morning, badly. Im leaving on 31st december, see this again, i'm leaving on 31st, please come back before i leaves.

Goodbye, my heart is broken into 4 pieces, omgz. :(

B.O.R.E.D

Bold if its true ;)

I’m loud.
I’m obnoxious.
I’m sarcastic.
I’m cocky.
I cry easily.
I have a bad temper.
For the most part, I don’t like people.
I’m easy to get along with.
I like to fight.
I have more enemies than friends.
I’ve smoked.
I’ve smoked weed.
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.

My Appearance
I’m shorter than 5’5.
I wear makeup
I wear a piece of jewelery at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I’ve had braces.
I have braces.
I change my hair color often.
I straighten my hair often.
My ears are pierced.
I have small feet.

Relationships
I’m in a relationship now.
I’m single.
I’m crushin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
I’m always scared of being hurt.
An ex has physically abused me at least once.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.
I believe lust is more important than love.

Friendships
I have a best friend. )
I have at least ten friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been on a train.
I’ve left the state/province.
Someone close to me has died.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve gone bungee jumping.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.
I’ve won an award.
I’ve spent 24 hours on the computer straight.
I’ve been in a physical fight.

Music
I listen to country.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I listen to screamo.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I'm sick of it.
I hate the radio.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.

Television
I spend at least six hours a day watching television.
I watch soap operas daily.
I’m in love with Days Of Our Lives.
I’ve seen and like The OC.
I’ve seen and like One Tree Hill.
I’ve seen and like America’s Next Top Model.
I’ve seen and like Popular.
I’ve seen and like House.
I’ve seen and like 24.
I’ve seen and like CSI.
I’ve seen and like Everwood.

Family Life
I get along with both of my parents.
My biological parents are still together.
I have at least one brother.
I have at least one sister.
I have at least one step brother/sister.
I have at least one half brother/sister.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I’ve ran away from my home.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve made my parents cry.
I’ve lied to my parents.
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.
I’ve lied to my parents so I’d be allowed out.
I’ve walked out when I’ve been grounded.

Hair
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve had red.
I’ve been light brown.
I’ve been medium brown. (natural dok)
I’ve been brown.
I’ve had streaks.
I’ve had purple/pink.
I’ve been blue/green.
I’ve gotten my hair thinned.
I've used conditioner.
I’ve used silk therapy.
I’ve used hot oil treatments.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair.
I’ve ironed my hair.
I’ve braided my hair.
I’ve had/want dreadlocks.

School
I’ve thrown something at a teacher.
I’ve yelled at a teacher.
I’ve been suspended.
I’ve had an in-school suspension. (half day)
I’ve been sent to the principal’s office.
I’ve walked out of class.
I’ve skipped an entire day of school.
I’ve skipped a whole month of one certain class.
I’ve failed a test.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve helped someone else cheat on a test.
I’ve failed Art.
I’ve failed P.E.
I’ve failed Math.
I’ve failed Science.
I’ve failed another class.
A teacher has called my parents.
I’ve been caught skipping.
I’ve been on the honor roll.
I’ve been on effort honor roll

OMG IM SUCH A FUCK UP KID. LOL.

I miss you.

Okay hello! Im here to blog again, 1 more minute to 7pm. :P Okay, im kinda excited for tomorrow, cause im taking my result and fucccccck, i doubt i can sleep tonight unless i am really sleepy, zzz.

Hmm, i'm heading school tomorrow with Ayun most probably ^^ So i shall meet Emma, Sera & Fana in school then! [: I can't wait to see them again, especially Sera Sist!! I miss hugging her, meh boo boo! Shall talk about today then, :)

Gummy called me and then i met Gummy, Cammie & Aqilah outside ma house, Gummy had his hair cutted by Aqilah. Then after that headed to Bangkit then to Pasar Malam again! Bought pizzas! :D Then we went to idk what block and lepak.

We had fun, took 1 picture and my face look so fake -.- And i love Aqilah's hair to the max, omg. Im so jealous x.x" Haha! Then we left while Aqilah went to meet her friends. And today, i got attacked by 2 crazy people, and they are Gummy and Cammie. They are very scary okay, lol. But nevermind, no joke no fun, no fuck no son!! :D

I vomitted just now and Cammie was like "oi oi, eh you ok?" Hahaha, damn cute lah she! Haha, i got no idea what i vomit too, wasn't feeling well either, but i still had fun afterall! :)

Gummy, i want bubblegum, original flavour ah brother!!! You are the bessssssst if you got the bubblgum with you, mehahahahah! :P

Im very happy with my tumblarity, it's 2,031 now. And im 27th place in singapore!! Haha, proud :D Hahahaa, k la, i so bitchy man, wtf. _1_ me. Hahahah, Cammie's online!!

Okay, im done with ma post~ But before saying bye, i'd like to say something :)

Sera sist, i promise you, tomorrow i won't cry okay, i will laugh till you ask me to shut up. Hope we will be taking the same course and also going to the same ITE. I don't want you to leave me you know baby, i love you alot. Lol, i sound so lesbian, im joking about the "baby" hahaha. But still sist, you know me, we almost got the same interest and i've yet make you to .... Haha you know rightttt.... HAHAHA.

I can't waitttt!!! WOOHOOOOOOO~

Have halloween on Christmas?

Hi readers, im not really in a good mood, for these 4 days or rather 5, i'll be very grumpy as my fucking mens is here and my nose hurts cause got pimple T.T Last night was a horrible night, but then it ended in a nice way.

I first went to sleep at 12am, then i woke up again at 1.30am as i recieved a text from Ayun saying goodnight :) Then after replying him, i can't sleep till 4am. I feel so damn uncomfortable, and very sick too. :(

So i texted up Nelson (very random lor me.) Then asked him how was he cause the last time we chatted was months ago, lol! So yup, he sound kinda old and he claim that he is matured. Oh my tian, haha!! Then i end up texting with his Girlfriend, Fiona. She's nice! ^.^

Luckily she didn't got offended that i texted Nelson, i was really bored and Nelson just came up on my mind randomly. So yup, hope they will last long then! ^^V This is what i laughed at when im texting with him.

Me : O.o Last long okay!
Nelson : Will de la
Me : Wah, ji confident yi xia.
Nelson : Haha lols

Haha, but i buey tahan the way he types, he mcm malas nk layan me, but then he always type like this de, so i don't mind ;) Im on Msn with Lingsheng right now, he always never fail to make me laugh by being sacarstic to me. Lol!

Im very bored now, brother just cooked noodle for me. :D Most probably meeting Gummy & Cammie later on! :) Yay!

Today is the 9th day, i've made it through, but i wonder, when will this end...? :(
Tomorrow is the day, results. Omg much, i can't wait. Ayun's leaving tomorrow.. :(

18 don't come please, i need a hug now, badly, terribvery. :'(

I got pimple

Im very sad. My daily friend came today. I got pimple in my right nose. My left leg hurts like siao. Bestfriend die die also don't want to online tonight cause of laziness. (Confirm he read this, hahahaha!!!) Today i stayed at home for the whole day. After tonight, it will be just 24 hours more to go to 18th december. :S And today i never lepak with Brother and Sister. :( I miss them, i kinda got use to lepak-ing with them, haha.

Im on Msn with Gummy bro now, and we are talking about the time when i farted infront of him, Ayun & Iskandar. Sia la, i hate the moment sia, Ayun was beside me and suddenly my fart came out, and nasib no smell, if not, waaaahpiang. Haha. I remember Ayun's face, he was like :O and then he stare at me. And what i did was laugh and laugh. Hahaha!

I miss those days, now change already. x.x" Okay back to topic, i've changed my blogsongs and the skin. And im currently listening to I Miss You - Blink 182.

Just now Fadhila ajak me to Chalet at Pasir Ris. But i rejected her, cause im not feeling well plus i don't feel good. Haha, time flies and i got more drifted from them just because of 1 incident. I won't bear grudges, its already over and whatsmore, its not even my fault. But can i say that you ruined my happy relationship? If it wasn't ruined, i won't be so upset now. <:

But i do hate you, and i won't show it out. I won't take revenge, i'll let karma do the talking. I'll remember the date, 1st november 2009. Great start of November, You said. Im afraid, you've forgotten about it. Check your archives baby. ;)

It was ruined, and i swear, i regretted. If it not ruined, i won't go through all these unhappiness. But if it really didn't got ruined, i won't be able to know Gummy, Ilham, Iskandar, Cammie & Ayun better. I won't be able to see your true colours darling.. How nice can you be? :]

Time now is 10.20pm, i miss him, terribly. Stop asking whether am i attached or single, i won't fucking answer that, remember this.

Yay, 2 more days to go. But boo, Ayun's going Hongkong. :( Im going to miss him more, even more than terribly, maybe terribly + very = terribvery! :( Hahahahaha! Nonsense!!!

K la, terribvery okay? I still love you alot, k bye!

ego diligo vos

Hiiiiiii. Im here for a proper post! Haha, okay before i starts....

I'd like to wish Cheryl a happy sixteenth birthday! :D Sorry to paitao you and Yingying, Vivien & Tina. Seriously, i feel weird when i'm with you all, but nevertheless, happy sixteenth! :) Lovez.

Okay, shall talk about yesterday, it was a horrible starting, but then afterall i had fun! First i went to 215. My mom wanted me to go UOB but then i went to OCBC, that's why i want to deposit the money, but i failed. I tried for 6 times and fuck, i still can't get it. And the police inside was staring at me, then i was like "wahpiang, why cannot?!" Then i fed up, called mom, then i head to Novena.

Reach Novena, went to Control Station and waited for Fadhila. Then she called me, telling me that she will be late for 30 minutes, so i went to KFC and wait for her alone. Very pathetic i tell you, ha ha. Then i waited for 1 hour 30 minute, which is from 1.30pm - 3.30pm. Omg, i fucking fed up sial, cause i don't like to wait for people, hahahah! :X Then till 3.30, finally she came!!

Hug her and we both laughed! Haha, (as usual la.) Then she told me why she late and we end up cursing the bus driver, hahah! Then we train back to Cck. While going back, she told me alot of stuffs, and then i update her about my life etc etc. Then we saw hot guys O_O HAHA. Then we went to Bpp with her luggage -_- Then went to UOB. Then we walked home.

Reach home, put down our stuffs, then we off to lepak around my block. Then we headed to Pasar Malam and Gummy called me. This is our conversation.

Me : Hello Gummy?
Gummy : Oi, you where one?!
Me : Your head la Gummy. *laugh*
Gummy : Haha, eh sis you at where?
Me : Bangkit, pasar malam with Fadhila.
Gummy : EH EH! GOT SELL SHIRT? UNDERWEAR?
Me : Shirt got, underwear have, but confirm don't have your size. ( Cause all kid's)
Gummy : Bastard sia you, fuck la.
Me : HAHA, kidding la~
Gummy : Got takoyaki?!
Me : Yup, got! You want? I buy for you. What flavour you want?
Gummy : Pork, got?
Me : You, fuck you la!
*got one uncle stare at me when i say "fuck you" and fadhila laughed so loudly. Uncle's face maintain*
Gummy : Kkk, you choose k. I reach i call you again.

Haha, can imagine the scene?! HAHAHA!! Then we buy already, went to 124. Rained fucking heavily and one cat jumped on the chair that im sitting and i screamed. Lol! Then Gummy & Cammie came, slacked for awhile, then headed to Bangkit. Bought cupcorn and dinner. Then we went home after that ;)

Reach home, bath, off to Bangkit again with Fadhila to get red beans. Then reach home, packed her stuffs, then we slept at around 1+

This morning, Alson woke me up, urgh! -_- He was otp with Fadhila, and he asked Fadhila to put the phone on my ear and Alson went "HELLOO EMILY!!!!" I chuatio and wake up, fuck man! Haha, then i can't remember his voice and i said "Who you sia?" Then he say "Alson la, walao, forget me." Then i say "No la.. Cause so long never contact mah.." Haha, then he hung up already.

Fadhila went out and headed to Chinese Garden for swimming with the usuals. She ajak me, but then i refuse to go. Don't ask why, haha. So i assume that she met Michael? Yup. So now, im at home, she will be coming back later on to take her Camping bag.

Texted with Ayun just now! :) :) Hehe, then now no longer texting already cause he's working. So yup, eh sia la, 2 more days?! And last night farid send me this :

Farid : News just reported that this friday, 2.30pm results will be out. Please spread it around omg much.
*i laughed when i saw "omg much"*
*Spreads to Gummy etc*
Gummy : I don't want to spread la sis, save prepaid! LOL
Me : LOL!!

Haha, Gummy always make me laugh. Then Cammie is the serious one. BAHA. Im so bored, entertain meeeee?! :O

• Not going to do a proper post.
• Fadhila's at ma house now, she's staying over!
• She is staring at my dog right now.
• Shall do a proper post tomorrow aye, bye!

Im not going to be online tonight i suppose? So yup, byeee! anything text me oke. :)

^.^V

Okay hi, time now is 10.30am. Im going to go out of the house at about 11+ and then head to bank. And then mrt to Novena and meet this lady on top ^^ Hehe, i can't wait to see her and give her tha biggest hug! :D :D

Okay, today's plan is to fetch Fadhila. And the rest of the day.... Haven't plan yet, perhaps meeting pendek or something? I got no idea :(

Last night dad & mom came back, watched ghost movie together, and i swear, its god damn funny and can you imagine, the whole family gets laughing together or rather scared etc? Haha, its cool maaaan \m/

I met Ayun & Rashidi last night at 129 while im on my way to buy my dinner and supper for the my parents with Eugene. Was very very happy to see them! Like seriously, lmao, don't mind me. Bahaha!! Then headed home, slept around 2+.

Woke up at 9.30 as mom woke me up, i was like zzz with the fucked up hair, lol. So yup, i look like a lion, lolz.

Oh and last night, i had the most fucking terrible dream i ever had, i dreamt that i was attached with WINX CLUB!! (GUMMY, CAMMIE, KAK ILAH & YANA SHOULD KNOW WHO.) Wah nabeh, the dream sibeh fucking scary siol, but then fucking rich you know, hehe *keting keting* Bahahah, but but!! The father turns out to be Mr Teoh, super budget guy. HAHAHA LOL!

Okay back to topic, woke up, brushed teeth, mom asked me to go to 215 for her, haiya, why didn't she left me a message or something? But come to think of it, if she didn't woke me up, i think i'll still be asleep till like 12? AND THEN I WILL BE LATE. LOL. So yup, thanks mama i love you ^^ MUAAAAAACKZ.

Hehe time now is 10.41am.. Just 3 more fucking days till 18th! I can't wait, but at the same time i'm sad, nobody knows why, i got no idea that if im sad, does the opposite party feels the same way too? Haiyo, ming ku ah.......... Joke~ But seriously, im sad :(

Make me happy? :(

Two is better than 1.

So today, i had my KFC meal after craving it for like 1 week? Yup, and im happy! I went to Bpp with Fana Pendek today, and she's such a bitch seriously. _1_ Haha, but still, she's the best, huahuahua~

We had our meals there, then i was having my cheesefries and we left halfway. Headed to idk what block and slacked, and this fucking sick uncle whom im fucking scared of was opposite of us, and i stared at him cause i was fucking shocked. Then he was showing the handsign to ask us to go towards him. I persuaded Fana to leave that place and guess what, she say "nevermind, im here" Wahpiang, i was not feeling safe, instead i felt much scared. Cause what if i have to be the one who should protect her?! O_O

So the uncle came towards us, and i was eating my cheesefries halfway (LOL) and then he came and smiled to me. I got so fucked up and scared and i threw my fries to him. Then we walk away, wah cheebye, fuck ah Fana, you see ah!!! Hahahaha, but it was fun la, lol! Fana nk step heroine je, hahahaha kidding dok :P

Then we slacked till about 6pm and off to buy dinner and then send Fana to the traffic light while i headed home.

Okay, now i've decided on what course to take. But im stucked betwene 3 courses, which is Retail, Business and Pastry. Its all available in Clementi ITE. Lol, so how. :O

Hmm, today im kinda of moody i got no idea why too, shall go offline at 9.15 then, time now is 8.59pm. So yup, bye~

I miss you. Make it quick.

Grandmother stories~

Okay, just 4 more days to release of N level's result.
Just 4 more days while Ayun leaves Singapore for Hongkong for 5 good days.
Just 1 more day and Fad's coming over!
Today is the 6th day.
Nothing much to say, i slept at 3+ yesterday, im so pathetic for these few days, haiz. -.-

I can't wait for 18th to come, reason is because that im going to recieve my result. And im gonna see classmates again!

Im going to stay at home and clean my room. And maybe meeting Gummy & Cammie too, wanna get back the controller from Gummy, haha! And also my dickies bag too, rofl.

I miss the feeling of the warmth, rofl! Haha, im talking rubbish, damn it. Ok, i shall stop here, bye.

Oh and anyway, Aslina and I is gonna go for the same course man!! Woohoo! xD

Happy faces.

Okay hello! Im here to post ;) Well, i've stayed at home for the whole day, like again. Its indeed boring, seriously. And what's killing me is that my internet wasn't connected for the whole afternoon! And it got connected at 5+, and im so happy to see it connected!! :D

So yeah, was on msn with Fadhila and we were talking about tumblr cute guys, bahaha! And brother just downloaded my favourite song of mine, Empire State Of Mind - Jay Z ft Alica Keys. Its very nice! Try to listen to it, ;) Haha, lmao~

So im suppose to head out for interview tomorrow, but dad forbided me to :( I've to stay at home and clean my room as its fucking messy (seriously) and he wants me to clean it and so as to welcome Fadhila! :) Hehe, see fadhila, i become maid sia! Lol, kidding ;)

Tomorrow is 14th, and fuck, 4 more days to result! _1_ And then 15th comes!!!! I can't wait! Had a chat with bestfriend just now, seriously, the way bestfriend elaborates the whole thing is so cute! As usual lah that bestfriend of mine, bahahah.

Currently now on msn with Cammie & Ira meimei ;) Im gonna blog about meimei now. Hehe ^^



She's the one in green (obviously) Haha, pretty kan?! Hmm, i wanna say thanks to her for always asking me whether did i had my meals, cause i am a person who likes to skip meals for no reason. Bahah! I hope she will maintain her happiness like now till eternity ;) Next year sec 3 already ah, upper sec already, aisey! Must study very hard from next year, if not end up like me, kanchiong for N level x.x"

All the best k meimei, i love you ^.^ Hehe! & stay happpy ah!!! :D

& i miss you alot. :'(

Whatever!

Okay, im having a headache now and it suck alot. Fucking annoyed with those sounds coming from the voideck, as there is a funeral going on, but then very noisy :/ Hopefully it will end it today then, tahan 1 more day! :)

Today, i woke up at 11.48am. Last night, i went to sleep around 2+ and seriously, i can't sleep. I got no idea why too, after reading some texts, i finally fell asleep, i feel so pathetic, lol. -.- Mom's coming back tomorrow with dad, and tomorrow, im headed to Great World City with Fana and perhaps Farris too, for interview @ Fish &Co. <;

Can't wait, today is 13th, tomorrow is 14th. Wait, just 5 more days to release of N level's result! Oh my god, im very nervous and no longer excited. Rofl!

My dear Cammie is coming back from her camp today at Pulau Ubin, i miss msn-ing with her man, lol! And also, Gummy~ He's starting work today, all the best k brother, 12 hours dok, tahaaaaan, can lose fats!! HAHAHA, remember our deal ah! December must slim! If notttt, you owe me fishballs! :P

SOOOOO, I JUST ADDED A FORMSPRING ON MY TUMBLR!! And angmohs are starting to talk to me, how wonderful, bahahahahah!! K la, i update later alright. Ciao!

No title.

okay hello again. ;) im so happy today! okay, i've to admit that i don't care about my tumblarity, but that only applys when it drops. And guess whut?! It rised up from 700+ to 965! Wah, happy to the max!

Haha okay enough of that, i sound like a bitch, lol! Hmm today, i stayed at home for the whole day, pretty boring tho. Hmm, been bitching about those who talk bad about Beyonce on Youtube.com with Fadhila, lol! And Beyonce didn't went for any operation on her body regarding her boobs, her nose or whatsoever okay?! _1_ you all la, lol!!

Hmm tomorrow is coming on my way!! Imma meet that pendek for sure, no matter what, unless she is really sick :( Haha, so yup, i hope she won't fall sick and sleep early. ^^

Currently on msn with Ira boin boin & Gummy. Gummy just brb-ed on me, and he will be back at 9.20pm. So yeah, im on tumblr posting now too. And god! My tumblarity soar-ed up to 1001 already!!!

Me so happy today, seriously. Hahaha!! Im going offline tonight early i guess? :x I got no idea uh, today is 12th, tomorrow 13th. Then 14th, then 15th!!! I can't wait for 15th to come!

15th is because of Fadhila's arrival, not other alright ;) Oh, bestfriend coming back tomorrow already!!

K bai~

:D

for the first time in ma life, i woke up at 12pm, omg. If my dad were to know, he will scold me for sure. Rofl, but nevermind, he is not in singapore ^.^

Last night i watch a show and slept around 2+am. Sorry to you-know-who that i can't sleep after hanging up with you, cause i can't sleep ah, and i promise you, i wasn't thinking about it. ;)

Today im not going out, im going 2 stay at home. And i might be meeting Fana tomorrow and hang out. I can't wait to see that pendek again, hehe! ^.^

Just 1 more day and i'll be seeing that pendek.
Just 2 more days and i'll be going for an interview.
Just 4 more days and i'll be seeing fadhila that mama bohsia.
Just 6 more days and i'll be seeing everyone in school.

Caaaaaan't waaaaaaaait!!! :)

change

Seriously sick of life. Headed out to meet Ayun just now and headed to Bangkit with him to get his cards. He used the wallet that i got for him and im happy. But i got no strength to even smile. Didn't want to go home after he board his bus, so i went to underblock alone. Called Cammie up. Then stayed there for 1/2 hour.

Headed home, online.

My eyes are now very tired. My shorts and shirts is gettin too big for me. Which means im losing weight. i've not eaten since yesterday. im fallin sick.

Tomorrow is the 11th. then 12th comes. 12th is a very important day for me. Miss lai is gettin married and i can't wait to see her. 12th is also my 1st monthsary with my boyfriend, but i doubt that will happen as 1st monthsary.

I wanna thanks Cammie & Gummy for all these while. You guys seen me screaming at myself, laughing alone, and most importantly, seen how i cried like one mad small girl. Im only myself when im with you two. Im always trying to be someone whom people want me to be, and end up gettin hurt for being fake.

Thanks alot, seriously. Best bro and sist \m/

I am weird, going berserk. Im going to change myself, into a person who doesn't talk much. Im so great ;) how is it? does everyone like it? i hope you do.

takecare, ciaos.

Editted.

I miss that boy who always call me kanasai.. :'(

day 1

Okay 2nd post. Today fucking no mood again, it suck alot. Headed to meet Cammie downstairs. Then headed to 125, slacked there, did housework, fucking shocked by those coakcroaches, damn, its all baby coakcroaches!!! _1_ them all, and 3 girls which is me, Cammie & Gummy's sister was screaming like mad girls.

We slacked inside the house, was fun. Managed to really laugh, cause of Gummy that joker brother of mine. So i went home, charge my phone & went back. Then we headed to Bangkit but Gummy stayed at home. Then went back to 125, then went home.

Im feeling so fucked up, wondering what is fucking wrong with me?! I didn't committed any mistakes and why? Can i ask why? Can i know why? Today is day 1, yet i can't take it, what about day 2? I can't fucking take it, but i know i must. And i must.

Tomorrow, thursday, 10th. I want to hug you so badly. I want to tell you how much i missed you, can i? :'(

Life is hard

Happy birthday to Sayang ^.^ Finally you are turning sixteen today. I hope you'll enjoy although you are working today -_- Haha, but nevertheless, enjoy yep! Love you so so so much! Hehe, muacks! :P


Okay, i got no mood today. Last night i didn't manage to sleep till 2.30am. Again, another hard night to get through. It was seriously hard, i really got no idea what to do. I got a feeling that im going to get cheated. And cheated badly and i will end up crying. Im so scared, seriously very scared..

Today is a brand new day, i want to be strong. Sometimes, i feel like giving up but i know i won't and i can't do it. At times I have the urge to hug you so tightly till i never want to let go but im afraid of you. I want to let go, but i know my heart won't allow me to. I don't want to cry, but i end up crying myself to sleep.

If only you know what's inside my mind, things will be much easier. I don't wish to spoil anything, so i'll just keep it and bottle things up. Perhaps, this might do us good although it doesn't do any good to me. But its going to be worth it, i believe.

3 more days to 1st monthsary. 9 more days to N level's result. I hope, things will go smoothly and i'll get the best result that i'll ever get for this 2 occasion.

Sighz, life is hard but i gotta bear with it. :'(

You mind.

Okay hello. I am here to post about today. Going offline early today, so anything just leave a text and i may reply as my prepaid is running low.

I haven't ate since the Macflurry i had this afternoon. Okay shall talk about today then. I had a very sweet dream last night. I slept till 10am today and i came online after washing up.

Msned, recieved a offline message from Fadhila. And i msn-ed with Sera & Emma. Lack of Fana, if not, it'll be perfect! :D Then we kept talking to each other in a sacarstic way and as usual, we went ya la ya la. Hahaha, and we planned to meet up on the 18th morning and head to school for results :S Then Sera went offline without saying, da biase lah sist. Hahah!!

So, something cropped up and i started to get somehow stupid. I broke down and fuck, i broke my promise to myself. I told myself to be strong and its a must. So i went to get ready and met Cammie. Met her and headed to 137. Then went to Bangkit then to Fajar to meet Gummy.

Met Gummy. Then both of 'em went to buy food. And i fucking showed them the most fucked up face of mine to them while they are eating their macdonald's. Sorry guys, you guys are the best. I was like so upset that i don't even want to eat. Then i recieved a call. And damn, im such a fool.

And of course, i smiled and after that, i explained to both of them about what happened exactly. So after that, we went up to level 2 and then bought stuffs. Headed home, and Gummy insisted of me bringing my dog out. And i went, and Gummy seem to like my dog, lol! Then i bought Milo back and then we started on our games ;)

Had lots of fun, and we end up playing poker cards, the game was called "Bluff" and its fun! After the card game, we blew bubbles. And godddd, it was so fun!! ^.^ Then they head home while i go home too, like duh -_-

Reach home, chatted with Esther, Emma & Victoria. Tumblr-ed, facebook-ed. Webcammed with Gummy and his brother is oh-so-cute! Hmm, k bye.

Im fucking hungry, but im not going to eat today. Tomorrow is my sayang's birthday. ^.^